Grammar Quiz #14 — Puffy Prose Onstage
People often write in a wordy, stilted, formal style because they think that’s how they should write. Good writing, however, is usually clear and to the point. The paragraph below is full of empty or needless phrases. See if you can pare it down to around 70 words (instead of 131), without losing any meaning.
The board members of the theater have assessed the situation and decided that, at this point in time, another original show by Edgar Wharton would not be in the theater’s best interests, primarily because of the fact that ticket sales for his previous show, My Life as an Accountant, did not reach anywhere near a level that could be considered even marginally acceptable. Possible potential revenue from Stock Options and Derivatives—the Musical does not appear likely to allow the theater to pay for even the associated costs of producing the show. As a result, the board, as a whole, has determined that The Sound of Music would, when all is said and done, represent a choice that would be more acceptable with the public at large for the next show.
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